Snap out of it Sam Chapters one to five
by Zenamydog
Summary: Dean kicked into protective mode, in one fluid movement Dean broke his father’s grip on Sam and shoved him hard, harder than intended, away from his brother. You’re hurting him! Dean snarled. preslash
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Snap out of it Sam.

**Chapter** 1-5/6 (Complete except for the final chapter).

**Author:** Zenamydog

**Rating:** PG 13?

**Fandom** Supernatural

**Pairing/Characters:** Sam/Dean/John

**Warnings** Spoilers for Salvation and Devils trap. (Pre-Slash)

**Beta:**"wenchpixie"

**Feedback** Makes it all worth while!

**Disclaimer** As if? Well? If I owned them, they wouldn't be plastered across the internet.

** SUMMARY: ** Set somewhere between Salvation and Devil's Trap. John knows about Sam's visions. What happens when he sees one for the first time?

Dean kicked into protective mode, in one fluid movement Dean broke his father's grip on Sam and shoved him hard, harder than intended, away from his brother.

"You're hurting him!" Dean snarled.

**AN:** This is the **first** fic. I **ever** wrote. Warts and all. Wow! I look back and see the huge learning curve. It's been posted out there somewhere, but I lost track of it unfortunately.

So I have decided I should probably finish this. (A year in production at least)

The **final Chapter** (6) will be a spoiler for Episode One Series Two. (Coming Soon)

I'm re-posting now cuz the wonderful "Wenchpixie" has beta'd it and no one will remember it from way back when. So…...I hope you enjoy!

**Chapters One to five**

Stepped out of the shower and dried himself quickly. _God it's_ _cold_ he thought. He put on his boxers on quickly, struggled to pull his jeans over the second leg and glanced at the mirror.

"Could use a shave" he muttered, paying closer scrutiny to the hair under his chin; grabbing his overnight bag he started to fumble for his shaver.

"Ahhhhhh NO!"

Dean heard the scream coming from the other room but it was the following sound, like someone hitting the floor - hard, that made the pit of his stomach tighten and his jaw set.

That painful scream was Sam's.

A split second later he had retrieved a small hand gun, flung open the bathroom door, and stood poised, ready and willing to shoot. Nothing in the small lounge room made him lower his weapon.

Eyes wide with concern, he ran down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Sam...Sammy?"

When Dean reached the doorway he realized the potential threat was not one that required a gun. Clicking the safety on, he put the weapon on the table.

He took the couple of strides that allowed him to drop to his knees beside his brother. Dean recognized it immediately. Sam was having a vision. _Christ. _Dean thought. _What the hell is Dad doing? _

"It's okay Sammy!" he reassured, trying to take control, trying to get his father's attention as John continued to shake Sammy. "Dad! Dad! Stop! He's having a VISION!"

Dean tried again. "Please Dad!"… John didn't seem to register that his son was there, let alone hear him. He just cried "Sam! Sam! Snap out of it!" He was obviously trying to help things along with some physical force.

Sam's head flew back and forth and the glazed look in his eyes told Dean that Sam was powerless to do anything about it.

Struggling to breathe; Sam drew in a painful gasp. That intake of air was all that was needed for Dean's protective instincts to kick in. Sammy was being hurt. Nothing hurt Sam, not even his Dad.

In one fluid movement, Dean broke his Father's grip on Sam and shoved him hard, harder than intended, away from his brother. "You're hurting him!" Dean snarled.

John stumbled back from his crouched position and landed heavily. He gave Dean a look, somewhere between shock and anger. John noticed the flicker of fear in Dean's eyes, as Dean suddenly comprehended he had just raised his hand to his father.

It faded quickly; Dean's only concern right now was Sammy.

Sam grabbed at his temples with the tips of his fingers. His breathing was shallow and labored.

"Ahhhh God!" He panted. Wished the vision would just come, just be over with. He so wanted the pain to stop.

"Dean?" Sam choked out softly, and Dean instantly drew his brother closer, wanting, almost needing, to support his brother's weight.

"Yeah Sammy, it's okay, just relax." he soothed, unconsciously bringing his breathing into rhythm with Sam's.

"The vision should have come by now! ... It's...it's still only the pain. It's worse somehow!" Sam was almost pleading and Dean felt helplessness engulf him.

Sam controlled the pain enough to become aware of his father's questioning eyes. What did he see there? Fear? Anger? Sam couldn't decide. But he felt, for some reason, he was letting his Father down.

Noticing their exchange Dean interrupted. "What happened? How long has he been like this?"

John glanced at his watch. "He collapsed about 10 minutes ago, but he was obviously in pain for at least 15 before that." He stated flatly. "Kept trying to hide it." John said, almost as an afterthought.

Dean was grateful that his Father em _Got it._ /em This was a simple exchange of information. It was in Sam's best interest. Looking and searching his Dad's face, he hoped. Maybe he could work with this man. Maybe his Dad would understand.

He and Sam were finely tuned. He knew Sammy best and that was that. Maybe John would let Dean call the shots on this one. He was the one who knew how to take care of his baby brother.

"Okay Sammy, do ya think you can get to the bedroom?" Dean saw the answer when Sam eyes spoke volumes.

Dean sighed. "Okay then. Dad?" He gestured to his Father. The two oldest Winchesters picked Sam's weakened body up. It still amazed Dean how he and John still knew. They both knew how to do this kind of thing in sync; least amount of stress on Sam.

As soon as Sam was laid on his side, he curled his knees up to his stomach. It was a futile attempt to ease the pain.

Dean sat down facing him on the bed. "Okay, what's going on Sammy? How can we help?" Dean needed to sound like he could handle this.

"God Dean!" There was a strained look on Sam's face as he spoke. "This has been too long! It should have come by now. I don't know how long I can do this!"

Suddenly, Sam arched back painfully and grabbed Dean's hand.

"Sammy?" Dean got out, as he watched both their hands turn knuckle white. Dean feared that Sam's grip reflected the intensity of what he was feeling. The pain. That frightened Dean beyond words.

Moving to the other side of the bed; John demanded "What's happening Dean? Is he having the actual vision now?" His concern was growing by the minute.

"Yeah….. I think so." Dean answered, not taking his eyes off of Sam.

"He should come out of it in the next few minutes. He usually does... but... But this, I don't know", Dean shook his head. "Sam's right, it's taking a lot longer this time." Fear shuttering his voice. _"Shit Sam!"_ Dean sighed. Pushing away any thoughts that this might not play out as normal.

**Chapter two**

The next few moments felt like torture to Dean. Sam had let go of his hand, and Dean found himself feeling the loss of connection. His brother lay quiet and still, his only movement was his eyes darting around the room.

"Sam?" John's voice showed concern as he sat down on the bed. "What's happening Sam?" He asked again.

When Sam's only response was a low cry, Dean held up his hand. "Just give him a minute Dad. Just…..just let him get back to us."

Both men eyed each other. John impatiently wanting this to be over, and Dean resigned to just letting it run its course.

Sam's breath began to shallow into a more rapid pant. "Dean." Sam said out loud. And Dean took the opportunity to reconnect. Taking his brother's hand again, he answered. "Yeah Sammy, I'm here, just take it easy." When Sam's eyes kept darting around the room, and the glazed look didn't dissipate, Dean knew that Sam was not actually speaking to him.

So whatever Sam was em _seeing_ /em included him.

Sam knew that this was a vision. Sam knew that he wasn't actually there. Sam knew he was lying on a bed in some cheap motel room, with his brother and his father watching over him. Sam knew he could change things, but the fear he wouldn't be able to gripped at his heart. em _What the hell was Dean doing/em _

_Dean stood near the edge of the cliff and looked down. "God" he thought, "It's so beautiful. Almost like falling to heaven." And then, as an after thought, he added. "Only, I know I am going to hell." _

"_What? What's going on?" Sam's confused mind struggled. "I can hear his thoughts."_

"_One more step and it will be all over. One more step and there will be no more pain". Dean laughed quietly. "It's not worth it anymore." Dean's throat hitched. "You hear me!" Dean suddenly shouted out loud. Looking up to the sky, with his hands outstretched, Dean continued. "You win! You win you son of a bitch! I can't do this anymore! I can do this without……" Dean's voice trailed off, sounding defeated "It's over." He said, lowering his head. /em _

_"Huh? No! What's he talking about," Sam thought. "He's not talking about….. no, no way. Not Dean. Dean commit suicide? Not possible. This can't be right, I'm missing something here, I must be!" Sam started to panic. And then as if answering his question, he heard Dean yell again. _

_I'm coming to get you, you mother fucker!" Dean's eyes looked skyward again. Then Dean turned, and Sam could have sworn he was looking directly into his eyes. Softly, with tears in his voice, he said, "I love you Sammy! I always have!" The moment those words left his mouth, Dean took that step, that step, to no more pain_.

"Nooooooo!" Sam screamed arching his back. "Dean!" He called out again. Then with a sudden feeling of _thud _he realized he was back in the apartment room. Sam could feel his brother's hand on his, and he grabbed it.

"Here we go." Dean said quietly, responding to Sam's tightening grip. "You with us little brother?" Dean questioned softly.

Sam's eyes tried to focus, as he caught a glimpse of the fear in Dean's face. "Ahh? I….I think so." He offered shakily.

"Okay Sam." He heard his Father say. "What did you see? Was it the Demon? Do you know where it is?"

Sam watched Dean frown. "Woah! Dad, slow down, let the kid recover a bit first."

"He's not a kid Dean!" John raised his voice slightly, moving closer into Sam's space. "What did you see Sam?" He asked again. This time with more of an edge in the words.

Sam sat himself up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Umm? I'm not sure. It's vague."

"What do you mean, vague, Sam? Was it about the Demon or not?" John pressed.

Sam looked up at his Father, and then to Dean, eyes very wide. He….he really couldn't quite remember.

So in tune with his brother, Dean understood exactly what Sam's look had meant. _Please Dad. I…I just can't do this right now_.

"Just give me a minute." Sam said listlessly instead.

"Dad?" Dean wanted to advocate for Sam.

"Dean!" John's tone sounded frustrated. Placing his fingers around Sam's arm, he continued. "We need to know if it's the Demon!"

Dean stood up quickly when he saw Sam flinch at his Father's grasp.

"Okay, ya know what?" Dean could hear the resolve in his own voice. "Sam needs to rest! So stop with the twenty questions already, and let him do it!"

His face clearly read. _Don't fuck with me about_ _Sam!_

John seemed taken aback by his son's grim face. He sighed heavily. "Look" he started. And Dean cut in. "I mean it Dad! Not now!"

John rose to his feet, determination set in his features. His son did not give the orders.

Sam stared at them. He found it fitting that his brother and father stood either side of the bed, with him in the middle. em "_Oh my God"_ /em he thought. em "_Dean is standing up to Dad. And…. And he is doing it for me_."

**Chapter: three**

John and Dean stood, trying to stare each other down. You could cut the air with a knife. Sam looked groggily from one man to the other.

_em This isn't good /em _Sam thought. em Dad will rip Dean to shreds. /em

"It's…it's okay Dean, I'm okay." Sam said, trying to defuse the situation. Dean broke his father's gaze briefly to look at Sam.

Thinking it might just be easier to let his Father question Sam, he quickly assessed his brother's condition.

"Are you sure?" Dean went back to staring at his father. "Cause you don't look so crash hot, this 'vision' or whatever, it took a lot more out of you this time."

"I'm okay…. really." Sam said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed; the sudden movement upwards making Sam feel dizzy and faint. "Ummm, ahh, okay,… maybe not." Sam lowered himself back down.

John looked at Sam, and this time he em _really /em _looked at him. Dean had already moved back to his brother's side, saying "Hey, its okay, just rest."

Dean looked again at his Father, his face almost daring him to contradict. "Yeah Sam, rest for a while." His Dad reluctantly agreed.

The next two hours dragged slowly as Sam slept. Dean had busied himself cleaning weapons, sharpening knives and cleaning out the Impala. He needed space. Space from his father's disappointed eyes.

"Sam's well-being comes first, right?" He told himself. But still, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He had challenged his father's authority. And worse than that, he had used physical force.

He felt worse with the knowledge that he would do it again if he had to.

After cleaning out the last of the food wrappings and polystyrene cups from the car, Dean sighed heavily. He needed to face his father; he genuinely wanted him to understand. He and Sam, Sam and him. There was this inexplicable bond.

Walking pposite him, and then back down to his Journal.

"He'll be better after he's slept." Dean said cautiously. "He'll remember more." He added, by way of a peace offering.

John looked up again and his eyes softened a little. Sighing, he asked. "So how often does he get these 'visions'? Do they always come true?" John frowned.

Dean thought about the questions for a moment, and said "Well, not that often, and yeah, well, when they're the real deal, they come true."

"Real deal?" His father queried.

"Yeah, like when he's awake." Dean responded casually. The ones he has in his dreams are harder to tell" Dean explained, adding "But mostly we get enough warning to change the outcome."

"Hmmm" John looked thoughtful. "Okay, so we can use……" John started, interrupted by the sound of Sam stirring. Both men stood together, and made their way to the bedroom.

Dean brushed past his Dad and moved quickly to sit by Sam. "Hey sleepy head, how ya feeling?" He quipped.

Sam looked at Dean, and then at his father, standing just inside the doorway. "Better" he replied simply.

"Good." Dean said, feeling relieved.

John moved to the other side of the bed, and Sam realized he had been here before. em _God. Did Dean really defend me to Dad? Maybe….. maybe I had just dreamt it /em . _Sitting himself up with his elbows, Sam leaned slightly forward, trying to ward off the pounding in his head.

Dean wanted to be the one to steer Sam into this conversation. He knew he'd have to ease Sam into it. Experience had shown him that a bombarded Sam was a confused Sam.

"So?" Dean ventured gently. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Was it about the Demon?" His father added, with more urgency than he needed to. Dean shot John a em _give him time_ /em look, and Sam realized that he had indeed, NOT been dreaming.

"No" Sam stated dryly. "No it wasn't about the Demon." It hurt when Sam noticed a flinch in his father's eyes. What was that on his father's face? Was that disappointment?

"Then what was it about?" John interrupted Sam's train of thought.

Sam turned and looked directly into his Dad's eyes, starting to feel the onset of panic. Christ! What was he going to say?

"_Aww Gee Dad, sorry, but I think your oldest son is going to 'top' himself, by jumping off a cliff, sometime in the near future."_ Didn't seem like it would go down well.

Sam pushed past Dean and stood up. "Ahh?" was all that came out of his mouth.

John had not seen it, not recognized it, but Dean had. He knew, could tell, Sam was about to hide something. "Like I said before Dad, it's vague." Sam tried to sound convincing.

"Well, what **do** you remember?" John asked, taking a couple of steps towards his son.

Dean clenched his fist. He wanted to make sure his Father didn't push too hard. He instinctively just wanted to step between them. He had been doing it all his life. Why should now be any different? It took all his self control not to.

"How about we finish this over a cup of coffee." Dean said flippantly instead. He needed to take focus off Sam.

He forced himself to move from the bed. "I could use some coffee, what about you Sammy? Coffee?" Heading towards the hallway, he saw the silent 'thank you' in Sam's eyes, as he followed his brother to the kitchen.

Dean began to make the coffee, and Sam sat down at the kitchen table. Both men couldn't believe that the ploy had worked. They knew that inevitably it wouldn't, but for now they had breathing space.

Handing Sam his coffee, Dean sat down and took a sip of his own. Their Father had not followed them into the kitchen and both men looked towards the door expectedly.

"You want one dad?" Dean called from where he was seated. Almost immediately John appeared in the doorway. "No" came the gruff answer. "I've just had a call from a contact, I'm going out for a while, could be late." And just like that, he left.

Sam sighed heavily, fiddling nervously with his coffee cup.

"Sam?"

_"Here it comes."_ Sam thought. He looked up to meet his brother's questioning eyes. Sam's mind was reeling. "_How do I explain this to you Dean?"_

**Chapter four**

Dean saw the hesitation in Sam's eyes and lowered his own back to the coffee cup. "It's something big isn't it?" he asked without looking up.

"Yeah" Sam replied softly. Dean had already figured out that it involved him, and from Sam's anguished "Dean!" while he was under, he knew it probably involved him dying, or at the very least being seriously hurt.

Looking into his brother's pained face, he could see how badly Sam was struggling to find the words. He felt the need to soften whatever blow, Sam might be feeling.

After draining the last of his coffee, he said. "So? I get hurt or die or something… right?"

"Huh" Sam gasped. "How…how….?"

"You called my name." Dean explained matter a factly. "But we know now so...we can prevent it, we can stop it.. Right?" Dean continued with a forced smile.

Sam gazed deeply into his brother's eyes, and Dean could feel the intensity. "Is it just me?" Dean broke eye contact and got up to pour another coffee. With his back to his brother, he added. "Or….or are you and Dad in the vision too?" The mere thought scaring him more than he could admit.

"No….just you." Sam answered, feeling the heat of a tear starting to well up.

"Good" Dean sounded relieved, and returned to the table with a fresh cup of his favorite brew.

"Okay Sammy, out with it. What gets me? A demon?" Leaning forward slightly. "**The** demon?" He attempted a smirk. "A ghost, a Wendigo,…what?" he gestured with his hands.

Sam turned his head side on, hoping Dean wouldn't notice the single tear that had escaped.

Dean of course, did notice. em _Geez Sam, you're crying. I really can't cope with this chick flick moment right now_. /em

"Just tell me what the hell it is already! Sheesh, it can't be that bad….Can it? Well?" Dean finally said out loud; frustration building.

When Sam couldn't look at him and when all he got was silence, Dean realized what Sam was thinking. _Shit, he thinks that, what…whatever this is, it can't be prevented,_ _or changed_.

"Come on man! The sooner you tell me, the sooner we can hunt the thing down and kill it. You know?" Dean tried to sound light hearted.

"Get the bitch before it gets me, kinda thing. If it's not….." Dean continued his ranting.

"YOU!" Sam didn't mean to yell as loud as he did. Dean blinked back, startled. "The em _thing's /em _you." Sam said more quietly.

"Me?" Dean's face was clearly confused. "What do you mean ME?"

To this point, Sam had not looked back at Dean. He knew that once their eyes met, Dean would understand what his words were failing to tell him. Somehow, Dean always understood.

Slowly Sam lifted his head to meet his brother's puzzled gaze. Sam swallowed hard. "I mean…..I saw you on the edge of a cliff. You were… I dunno…" He shrugged. "upset I guess."

Almost like a train hitting him, Dean realized what Sam was about to say. "Woah, woah!" Dean stood up, hands making a stop sign.

"Jesus Sam! What the…..? God! And here I am thinking this was something serious!" He almost screamed; his face a mixture of relief and anger.

"It is serious Dean!" Came Sam's hot reply.

"Huh!" Dean started to pace. "You got to be kidding me! That's.. that's" he was trying to get his head around it, "well, that's absurd!"

"I know what I saw Dean." Sam sounded a little offended.

Dean picked up on that and sat back down at the table. Leaning forward he looked at Sam almost pleadingly. "I don't doubt it Sam. But, dude….honestly, do you really think I'm capable of doing something like that?"

Sam stared at him closely for a moment. Dean's eyes were wide and unguarded. Sam shrugged. "I dunno." He said because he couldn't think of anything else. He was sure of what he saw.

Dean felt a stab of disappointment. "Well I thought you knew me better than that Sammy!" Dean's voice was flat.. "I couldn't leave you unguarded. Not now, hopefully, not ever. Someone's got to look after that cute ass of yours" Dean smiled.

Sam's mouth softened. Dean's last words went straight to his heart. _Cute? _Sam thought briefly.

"Look man" Sam tried to explain as gently as he could. He knew he needed his brother to understand. "It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a nightmare. I was awake in the middle of the day, for Christ sake! It WAS a vision!

"Well, it's a God dammed wrong one then!" Dean countered angrily, leaning back.

Sam sighed, obviously not convinced. "I don't know what to tell you man, I just know what I saw and heard."

Dean couldn't believe it. He couldn't even fathom how Sam could believe such a thing. "Okay." He said slowly. "So you saw me near a cliff. I sounded upset. That doesn't mean I……"

"You told me you loved me, and then you jumped." Sam interrupted. Knowing Dean was going into the denial stage.

"Well there ya go." Dean said. "See… it has to be wrong. It's just not possible."

"What?" Sam half smiled. "That you jumped off a cliff, or that you love me?"

Dean flashed a look at Sam, and all his anger drained away. "Both" Dean joked. But his eyes clearly conveyed the truth of it.

They both fell into silence.

Dean could see that Sam was convinced this was a 'real' vision. He could tell that his brother was really worried. So he broke the silence.

"Sam….look….all I can tell you is that there is nothing in this world that could make me do that. Hell Sam, why would I wanna give up all this? He gestured with his hands, a smirk on his lips.

Sam couldn't help but turn his own lips upwards. "Nothing?" Sam inquired, still smiling.

"Nothing." Dean answered firmly.

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment. "Okay" he finally conceded. "But I really think we will need to talk about this at some stage."

"Some stage" Dean nodded slightly showing his reluctant agreement.

Dean sat on the couch in the lounge room. Sam had gone to take a shower, and Dean was flicking through the TV channels.

em "_Nothing"_ /em he mused. He was a Winchester. em "_A Winchester would never take the 'cowards' way out."_ /em He thought.

_"But Sammy was so sure it was a vision."_ Dean sighed.

em Even if it was, nothing could reduce me to want to take my own life. I have a job to do. Look after Sammy, find the demon, and make my Dad proud. /em

It didn't occur to him that he had put the list in order of importance.

Dean tried to ignore how uneasy he felt. "Nope, nothing!" He told himself again confidently. But he couldn't escape the fact that he now had an unexplainable concern for his brother and his Dad.

John fumbled with the Apartment room key. "Damn" he thought. "Motel room keys were larger." Opening the front door, he entered the lounge room.

Dean stood to greet his father. "Hey Dad" he said. "Was the contact helpful?"

"Where's your brother?" John didn't answer the question.

"Here." Sam answered for himself, as he walked out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair.

"Good" The oldest Winchester said, as he motioned for the three of them to sit down. Sam and Dean glanced at each other. They could tell that this was important.

"I didn't say anything before" John began. "Because I wasn't quite sure. But now I have a handle on it.

"A handle on what?" Dean asked frowning.

"The Demon" His father almost beamed. "There's a pattern. It leaves a pattern." Leaning closer, his eyes widened. "That's why we're here in Salvation."

**Chapter five **

"Well that's it, that's everything I know." Their father confessed. He had taken out all the paraphernalia he had. Weather maps, newspaper clippings, old mythology books and more.

He explained to them that a week before the Demon attacked, there would be cattle deaths, temperature fluctuations and electrical storms, and now that pattern had begun, there in Salvation, Iowa.

When Sam had heard that the Demon went after 6 month-old babies, his heart pounded. "The same way it came after me?" He had asked, and Dean knew instantly Sam was going to turn it inward.

When Dean saw the pain in Sam's face, knowing he blamed himself for their mother's and Jessica's death. Anger rather than compassion rose in him.

Sam confirmed his brother's thoughts when he spoke. "So mom's death, Jessica, it's all 'cause of me?"

"We don't know that Sam" Dean tried to nip Sam's self recrimination in the bud.

"Oh really!" Sam countered. "Cause I'd say we were pretty damn sure Dean!"

Dean cut in angrily. "For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault!"

"Yeah you're right, its not my fault, but its my problem!" Sam almost yelled, standing to his full height.

Again Dean countered. "No, it's not your problem! It's our problem!"

"Okay!" Their father had said rising from behind the desk. "That's enough!" Cutting short any chance that this bickering would go any further.

Formulating a plan to check birth records for any child who would be 6 months old in the next few days, the Winchesters split up.

Sam sat at the Registry desk and went over the records again. There were literally dozens of children turning 6 months old in the next week. And that was only what he had discovered. Dean and Dad probably would have found more.

Taking a copy of the records, Sam took quickest root to the apartment. Eager to see what his Dad and Dean had found.

"How are we going to know which one?" Was all he could think about. "Jesus. Not again. We can't let this happen again."

He had hardly walked out of the door when the headache started. Grabbing his temple he knew that it was only the beginning.

It had been as if God himself had sent Sam the message. The answer to his questions had appeared before him. He even got to meet the mother and the child that would be involved. For once Sam was grateful for his visions.

Trying to get back proved harder that he expected. The pain and aftermath of the vision taking its toll.

Sitting on the bench seat in the park, he flipped open his phone.

Dean looked at the caller ID before answering. "Yeah Sam" he said casually.

"Dean." Sam choked out. And Dean instantly became alarmed. "Come get me." Sam continued.

Having grabbed the keys to the impala, Dean was already climbing into the driver's seat.

"Where….where are you man? I'm on my way. You just tell me where."

Dean hadn't even bothered to ask what was wrong. He either knew or didn't care. His brother needed him and all that mattered was to get to him as quick as possible.

Pulling the car to a screeching halt. Dean had spotted Sam on the bench seat immediately. Hunched over, his face in his hands.

Running full pelt to his brother, Dean dropped to his knees in front of him. Taking hold of both wrists, Dean moved Sam's hands away from his face. "It's okay bro, I'm here."

"I know" Sam tried to get out. "I know when it's coming."

"The demon?" Dean knew, but just wanted to make sure.

"Yeah." Came the breathy reply.

Sam was pale and his breathing was shallow. "Come on" Dean said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. "Let's get you back to the apartment. You can fill me in then."

They had not spoken on the way back to the apartment. Dean wanted to let his brother recover a little first, before he had to recount what he had seen. He knew his father would be waiting.

True enough, their father stood and gestured to help, when he saw Dean half drag Sam through the door.

Dean almost flinched when his father reached out. "I got him Dad." He said as he sat Sam down on the bed. He had no idea why the thought of someone else touching Sam, made him so uneasy.

"Another vision?" John asked, but seemed to know the answer. Dean just nodded and sat beside his brother.

"He said it was about the Demon." Dean looked at his father, trying to give Sam as much time as possible.

"What about the Demon?" John took on a less concerned tone. Again Dean answered. "He knows when it's coming."

John looked at Dean in frustration. Turning to Sam he spoke; "Sam. What happened? What did you see?"

"He's coming tonight." Sam almost whispered. "I saw her…..I" He tried to continue.

"Who? Who did you see?" Their Dad now had an edge to his voice.

"Just take your time Sammy." Dean said, glancing quickly at his father. He wanted to put the questions into one word answers, knowing Sam would cope better.

"So it's coming tonight. Right?" Dean asked.

"Yes" Sam confirmed. Trying hard to get his eyes to focus.

"Do you know who it's coming for?" Dean asked gently. This time, Sam just nodded.

"Who?" John started to demand.

Dean looked at his Dad, and felt like he had played this scene before.

"Who?" John asked again. "Who is it coming for? Do you know where it is now?" His voice now sounding impatient.

em "_If you dare tell him to snap out of it." /em _Dean started to think. em "I swear…." /em

But Dean's thoughts were cut short when their father sat down close to Sam.

Dean's stomach dropped. He had no idea what he would do if his father put his hand on Sam.

Sam seemed to sense Dean's tension. Shifting his leg, he moved it to rest next to Dean's. Drawing strength from the slight contact, he gave his brother the weakest of smiles.

He raised his head to meet his father's questioning eyes. "Her name is Monica Holt and the baby's name is Rosie. She's six months old today. It's coming for her tonight."

_em Yes!_ /em John thought. em _At last we know where you going to be. /em _A feeling of triumph washed over him as he stood and started to pace. em _"You're dead you bastard. Dead!" /em _

Sam's phone rang, and both men watched Sam as he found the strength to answer it.

They listened to the one sided conversation. John hovered close, knowing that something was wrong.

Dean's eyes narrowed. He had not prepared himself, when he heard Sam say; "Meg?"

The next few hours had taken more than their toll on Sam and Dean's frayed nerves.

John had headed to Lawrence to hand the 'fake' gun to Meg after she had killed Pastor Murphy and Caleb, threatening to kill more of their friends if he did not hand over the weapon.

They had managed to Save Monica and Rosie, but Dean had to physically stop Sam from running back into the burning house to try and kill the demon.

Sam was obviously pissed with Dean for stopping him, and the ride back to the apartment was an icy one.

Pulling the impala to a stop, Dean started to get their stuff, before grabbing the keys from the ignition and opening the door. em _"Fuck him." /em _Dean thought, as he climbed out. em "_Save his life, and what thanks do I get? Selfish bastard." /em _

Dean threw the keys and his phone next to the bed and flopped down. The strain was getting to him. Not only was he worried sick about his father, but now Sam was treating him like he had done something wrong.

Closing his eyes, he waited and listened for Sam to enter. "_Probably sulking in the car."_ He thought, when even after a few moments, sam didn't come in.

Stubbornness kept him lying there, eyes closed. But after 10 minutes, curiosity, if not concern, made him get up and check on his brother.

"Fuck!" Dean's heart sank when he saw Sam still in the car, slouched over, grabbing at his head.

Dean ran over and opened the passenger side door and Sam toppled into his arms. "Shit Sammy." Dean said, as he helped Sam out of the car and into the small apartment lounge room.

"Not again?" Dean said, more of a statement than a question. Sam looked up briefly and just nodded.

"Man!" Dean sounded exasperated. _"Stupid fucking pride!" _Dean wanted to kick himself. Sam had been out there for over 10 minutes, while he lay on the bed, thinking of insults.

em At least Dad's not here to badger you. /em Dean found some comfort in that.

"Demon?" Dean asked, trying hard to stay calm.

Sam kept his hands to his face, when he shook his head in the negative.

"No?" Dean sounded genuinely surprised. "Dad?" Alarm in his voice this time.

Sam raised his head to look at his brother, who was sitting on the couch next to him. "No…..not Dad."

"Then what?" Dean was acutely aware he sounded like their father.

When their eyes met and Sam said nothing, Dean's face was all questions, but then it turned to anger.

Standing, he moved away from his brother. "Me again?" Dean asked venomously.

Again Sam didn't answer, but the fear and confusion in his eyes did.

_Damn it_ Dean thought. _We have better things to think about than this shit. _

Dean was sorry Sam was in pain. God, he would do anything to prevent that. But this was pointless, and far less important than finding their Dad right now. Disappointment showed in his face.

"Dean?" Sam started to say.

"Okay" Dean cut him off. "If I can't get Dad on the phone, then I think we should head to Lawrence." Dean needed to change the subject.

Pulling out his phone, he speed dialed his Dads number. Sam got up and moved to the table. Sitting down, he allowed his mind to retrace the nights events.

"So close. We were so close." Sam thought and anger, for Dean having stopped him, started to rise again. The adrenaline helping to stave off the headache.

"Something's wrong" Dean said as he let the phone ring out for the second time. Sam didn't even look up, so Dean added. "Ya hear me, something's wrong. Something's happened."

"If you had just let me go in there. I coulda ended all this." Sam said, deep and low and Dean looked at him in surprise, frustration starting to build.

"Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life." Dean almost snarled. Not quite believing that Sam could be that stupid.

"You don't know that!" Sam finally looked at his brother.

Dean turned and faced Sam. "So, what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself? Is that it?"

"Yeah, yeah you're Damn right I am." Sam said and stood up.

And Dean felt his heart crushing under the pressure of that thought.

"Yeah well, that's not gunna happen, not while I'm around." Came Dean's automatic response.

"What the hell are you talking about Dean? We been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever really cared about."

Dean turned and faced Sam, looking at him intensely.

"Sam, I wanna waste it. Okay? I do. But it's not worth **dying** over." Dean retorted.

"What?" Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I mean it!" Dean tried hard to maintain control. "If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed. Then I hope we never find the damned thing."

And there it was. Dean had finally said it out loud. He would choose his brother's life over revenge any day.

Then a realization made his heart sink.

_em He will do it to. em _Dean's mind struggled with the mere thought. em _He'll get careless and he will end up dead_. /em

"That thing killed Jess, that thing killed mom." Sam said. All Dean could think about though, was trying to make his brother understand. Nothing was worth his brother's life.

Dean's eyes softened when he spoke again. "You said yourself once. That no matter what we do, they're gone." Dean's voice broke slightly. "And there never coming back."

_Fuck you Dean!_ Sam's mind saw red. "Don't you say that!" Sam yelled as he grabbed his brother by the denim jacket, and slammed him hard up against the wall. "Not after all this. Don't you say that!"

Dean knew he had only two options open to him. He could either break his brother's hold, and end up in a fight. Or he could tell Sam how broken he felt.

The pain and torment in his brother's eyes made him choose the later.

"Sam, look….. The three of us, that's all we have." Dean felt the truth of the next statement wash over him. "It's all I have."

Sam's anger quickly dissipated as he looked into Dean's unguarded eyes. Sobs starting to hitch in his throat.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man." Dean continued. "Without you and Dad….."

_Without you. _The thought made him want to vomit.

Then the pain of Dean being this vulnerable hit Sam, and he released his hold.

"Dad." Sam said as grabbed the bridge of his nose. His head still throbbing from the earlier vision. "He should of called by now. Try him again."

Dean took a second to clear his thoughts, and rang the number.

Sam was trying to get himself together. The look of anguish on his brother's face just a moment ago, still fresh in his mind.

Sam only turned to look at Dean when he heard him speak deep and hateful into the phone.

"Where is he?"

Making eye contact with Dean. Sam knew. Sam knew that Meg had their Father.

**TBC** (Last chapter up 27/9/06)

**A/N:** Ok guys, hope you enjoyed this story so far. As always, I can't do this without honest feed back, (Remember it was my very first.) so………R&R Pretty please


	2. Snap out of it Sam Final Chapter

**Title:** Snap out of it Sam. (Final Chapter)

**Chapter**: 6

**Author:** Zenamydog

**Rating:** PG 13?

**Fandom**: Supernatural

**Pairing/Characters**: Sam/Dean, John (Pre-Slash)

**Warnings**: Spoilers (big ones) for episode one. Season two.

**Beta:** **missyjack**

**Feedback**: Makes it all worth while!

**Disclaimer**: As if? Well? If I owned them, they wouldn't be plastered across the internet.

**SUMMARY: ** Set after Devil's Trap. John knows about Sam's visions. What happens when he sees one for the first time?

Dean kicked into protective mode, in one fluid movement Dean broke his father's grip on Sam and shoved him hard, harder than intended, away from his brother.

"You're hurting him!" Dean snarled.

**AN: **This is the **first** fic. I **ever** wrote. Warts and all. I finally finished it! Whohoooo!

A heart felt thank you to **missyjack** who beta'd for me, when my other beta's didn't want to be spoiled. Thank you so so much!

(Could be read as a stand alone)

**Chapter Six**

Six weeks. Oh my God it had been six weeks since the night that had changed his life. The night he had come face to face with the pure evil that had taken his Mother and his girlfriend.

Now, as Sam tried to grab a few hours sleep, between his vigil at the hospital and the day-to-day work it was to just keep breathing, Sam realized it may have taken his brother as well.

"I'm sorry Mr. Dawson," the doctor had said to his father. "There really isn't anything more we can do for Dean. You may need to start thinking…"

"What?" His Dad almost barked. "Thinking what?"

Sam was hanging back from the conversation. He knew where it was leading, but he couldn't bring himself to be a part of it.

Taking a deep breath, this part of his job was never easy, the doctor said "You may need to think about taking Dean off life support."

"No!" Sam was suddenly in the thick of it. "No fucking way!"

John put his hand on Sam's shoulder. Both as comfort and because Sam looked like he was about to kill the guy.

"Sam" John warned.

Sam looked directly at the Doctor and then back to his father. _Shit _Sam's face paled. "Not going to happen." Sam says gruffly, looking to his father for reassurance.

There was a small glimmer in his father's eyes, like he actually might be considering it.

_I will never…_ **never **_forgive you Dad! _Sam thinks, and hopes it reads clearly on his face.

"No." John says after what seems like a life time to Sam, and the relief he feels is palpable.

"No." John says again, but adds, "Not yet."

_Not yet?_ Sam's mind yelled at him, his protest not making its way to his mouth before he was guided quickly away by John's hand on his shoulder.

Shifting in his bed, trying to will himself to sleep, Sam pondered the last several months.

Finding the Colt; the three of them united after so long. His vision helping to save Rosie, and helping to finally find the demon.

Shooting the demon, shooting his father. It was all one blur until the moment the semi hit. The memories were clear from the moment he woke. Way too clear.

He remembers feeling for his father's pulse, because John was closer.

He remembers climbing frantically, desperately, over the front seat not caring how much it hurt, to get to Dean.

Taking his brother in his arms and pressing down feverishly on his chest to try and stop the blood flow.

How when Dean came too for the brief moment, every painful emotion he felt came pouring out of him in the form of a crushing kiss to Dean's lips.

And God, did Dean know, did he understand that Sam tried to show the sheer intensity of his love for him in that kiss?

Sam had never kissed his brother, not on the lips anyhow, but he didn't know what else to do. _No time, no time, just show him_.

If Sam lost Dean, then he just had to make sure he knew. He had to know.

Closing his eyes, he said a silent prayer. _Please God, please._

Absently rubbing the dull pain in his stomach, Sam finally let sleep take him.

This vision was mocking him. It came while he was awake; it came while he was asleep. It came, and it just kept coming. Always, always the same. He figured its persistency meant that he had to address it, but… It just made no sense to him at all. Dean was unconscious, God he was all but dead, there was no way he could be anywhere near a cliff, let alone about to jump off of it. Confusion rained in Sam's head. "Why does it keep coming back?" _Dean stood near the edge of the cliff and looked down. "God" he thought, "It's so beautiful. Almost like falling to heaven." And then, as an after thought, he added. "Only, I know I am going to hell." _ _Sam stood watching. Oh God! I don't want to see this again! Fuck! Why? Why do I keep seeing you die Dean? Why? _Sam once again looked on helplessly.

"_One more step and it would be all over. One more step and there would be no more pain. Dean laughed quietly. It's not worth it anymore." Dean's throat hitched. "You hear me!" Dean suddenly shouted out loud. _ _Looking up to the sky, with his hands outstretched, Dean continued. "You win! You win you son of a bitch! I can't do this anymore! I can do this without…" Deans voice trailed off, sounding defeated "Its over." He said, lowering his head._ _Then Dean turned, and Sam could have sworn he was looking directly into his eyes. Softly, with tears in his voice, he said, "I love you Sammy! I always have!" The moment those words left his mouth, Dean took that step, that step, to no more pain._

It always ended here, only this time it didn't. The inevitable end. The one that saw Dean leaping over that cliff edge. The step that would always wake Sam up with a startle, and his brother's name on his lips.

Only he didn't wake up. He was still asleep. He was still dreaming.

Sam felt himself shift in his dream state. It was a really weird feeling, being aware you're standing in a dream.

Only Sam knows it's not a dream, but it's not quite a vision either.

_Shit! _ Sam could almost hear himself think.

_This…..this happened a few days back. I remember sitting there doing that. _

Sam watched the unfolding of events that had already taken place.

_Sam sat at his computer screen. He had researched until his fingers were numb. He realized that the last time he had done this, Dean was fighting for his life against a preacher's wife, and a Reaper that had been bound. _

_Reapers? Sam mused. How many of them dwell in hospitals? Hospitals like the one where his brother lay unconscious._

_Sam had an uncontrollable need to research reapers all of a sudden._

_Bringing the reaper search up on the screen, Sam looked keenly through weary yet hopeful eyes. Sam felt something. It was like a lingering breath on his right ear._

_Dean stood over Sam's shoulder, saddened by the pained and exhausted look on his brother's face. It was obvious he was sleep starved, and God how much weight had he lost?_

_Touching, almost swatting at his ear, Sam returned to his reading._

_It appeared that being an in-between entity had its perks. Because he so totally didn't mind the feeling, yes feeling, of his brother, still fighting tooth and nail for him._

_He…he felt proud. "Thanks for not giving up on me Sammy!" Dean said out loud, even though he knew his brother or Dad couldn't hear. _

_Staring at the small screen Dean caught a flicker of something. Just an ever so small snippet. "You sonofabitch!" he exclaimed. Not sure whether to punch the air triumphantly or spit at the thought he had been suckered. "Fuck. She's the Reaper." Dean finally understood. _

_Dean wishes his brother could see his huge grin. He really wanted to tell Sam and his Dad that he is hanging in there._

_He so wished his brother would smile. He missed it. He so wanted to take the pain in his little brother's eyes, and his Dad's for that matter, away._

_But Sammy. Sammy looks so lost._

_Then as if on cue, John lifted his head and grunted "I think I may have something here. Something that could save Dean."_

_A split second later, Dean got what he wished for. Sam's head flew up. _

_It was brief, but Dean caught it._

_Sam smiled._

Hearing his son wake with a fright. John got off the couch, where he had fallen asleep.

"Sam?" He's father questioned gently.

"Yeah Dad. Ahh, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

John moved to sit at the end of Sam's bed. "Another vision?" He asked quietly and with more sensitivity than he gave himself credit for.

"Don't really know anymore Dad." Sam admitted. "I mean, it can't really be a vision. Not really. Not with Dean…." Fresh tears threatened to fall. "Not with Dean, you know… so hurt."

"Is this the same vision you had that day at the apartment in Salvation?" John asked. He knew it was about Dean, but he didn't know the details.

Getting up, Sam stretched his arms out and grimaced a little at the ache in his stomach. "How long have I been asleep for anyhow?" Sam tried to change the subject.

"Sam?" His father knew exactly what he was doing. "Is it the same vision?"

"Yeah," Sam said softly, "it is."

"Well don't you think it's time you told me about it?" It was phrased as a question, but Sam knew he had no choice.

His mind reeled as he told his father everything. He wondered why he hadn't before, but it just didn't seem important and he worried about John's reaction.

John's face changed slightly as Sam related what he'd seen. The thought of Dean ending his own life weighed heavily. He wanted to scream "Not a chance in hell, not Dean." But he just listened.

When Sam finally sat, not really looking at his Dad, he sighed. Something on the edge of his thoughts, of his memory.

"And it's always the same?" John asked, trying to keep the distaste out of his voice.

"Yeah" Sam said sounding defeated, "except…" Sam stood again, bringing his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. It all came flooding back, and Sam couldn't help but feel, dared to feel, a glimmer of hope.

"I don't know what the hell it has to do with Dean jumping off a cliff, but…"

He saw his father's jaw tighten. "Dean was here." Sam said trying to remember all the details.

"Dean was standing behind me. Fuck Dad. Dean's" and what the hell was it anyway? "spirit was standing right fucking there!" Sam motioned to where the laptop was sitting.

Johns face shifted slightly at his boy's cussing. He knew Sam had been through so much. He realized with no small amount of guilt, Sam was a man now, and he never really got to see the boy.

For a lingering moment, Sam bought his hand to his ear.

"I remember feeling something pass my ear when he lent in to take a closer look at the monitor. Sam said, almost lovingly.

"He? Being Dean?" John asked cautiously.

"Yes Dad! Dean!" Sam really felt, well he didn't know how he felt actually, but he grabbed on with both hands.

Any connection to Dean was better than none. "I don't know what is happening Dad. But Dad…Dean is walking around; it's just his body that is in that hospital."

John knew this wasn't the time for skepticism. "Do you have any idea where he is now?"

Sam just now thought of the ramifications. Was Dean watching them?

Taking a breath, Sam became Sammy at the thought of his big brother there in the room with him. The little boy in him wanted so desperately to run and cling to him.

Sam only half realized that the man in him wanted the same thing.

"Can you feel him son? John asked, his face showing no trace of judgment.

It felt strange, his father asking him something like that.

Had his Dad accepted Sam's "abilities," or simply accepted the fact that he and Dean had an unspoken bond?

Sam closed his eyes as he sat next to his father. He had never really tried to _feel _anyone before.

As he began to slow his breaths and reach out with his mind, he saw a flicker of light behind his eyes.

_DEAN!_ He reached again. God he so wanted to connect, but he wasn't sure what that even meant.

Sam called out again and again, but it was starting to wear him down physically. Leaning forward he put his head in his hands, this was causing that all too familiar migraine, the visions bring on.

"Sam?" His Dad asked with a concerned voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" Sam answered, defeat in his voice. "I'm Okay, but Dean's not here. Or if he is, I can't tell."

Sam made his way up the all too familiar hallway of the hospital. Another two weeks had passed and the hope he had was starting to fade again.

His father had been gone for two days, not bothering to tell Sam where, only that if they were going to save Dean, it would have to been soon, and he needed to do some research.

Sam wondered, since the moment his Dad had told him about finding a possible answer, why he wouldn't let him in on it.

It had caused some tension, which bubbled close to the surface. Why was his Dad being so secretive?

Opening the door to Dean's room, Sam felt the room temperature drop. That usually meant something ghostly and supernatural.

He had all but stopped coming to see Dean, knowing that it was just his shell, that _his _Dean was elsewhere.

"Dean?" Sam asked, looking around and pulling a seat beside the bed.

"Yeah you asshole" Dean said, sitting at the foot of his own bed. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you. It's getting harder and harder to move from this room, and you haven't been here for two fucking weeks!"

Sam reached out and covered Dean's hand with his own. "Sorry I haven't been to visit, but…well, I figured out you weren't really here. I mean…I saw you, I know your spirit or whatever came to the motel."

"Dean?" Sam said again, looking around, looking straight past, straight through his brother.

Dean jumped off the bed and started to pace. "You figured it out?" Dean spluttered. "Then why the fuck aren't you doing something?"

"I don't know what to do." Sam said squeezing Dean's hand slightly.

Dean grinned. "You sure you can't hear me little bro?"

"I wish I could hear you." Sam said then, and Dean started to laugh.

"Yeah me too," Dean replied as the smile slipped from his face. "There's a lot I need to say. You need to get yourself some treatment, and I want to kick your ass, because you've let this go so far."

_How do I communicate with you Sammy, how can I make you_ _understand you need help?_

Dean had already figured out that he couldn't do anything, couldn't grasp or hold things that where from that dimension. Not that he knew **what **dimension he was in. Somewhere between the curtain of life and death, she had told him.

She? The reaper. She had tricked him into believing she was just another soul, waiting to pass over, tried to convince him (seduce him really) into coming with her. Crossing over.

"Who the hell are you?" He had asked. "John Edwards? I'm not leaving my family. I'm not leaving my Dad and Sammy. No way."

When he did know the truth, after seeing one of the forms it could take on Sam's laptop, he had confronted her.

"Sam could die if I'm not there." He said to her. _I have to protect him._

"He will anyhow" she told him.

Dean's hands fisted into a ball. "What's that suppose to mean?" he said, his voice deep and low and threatening.

"He's killing himself Dean. Can't you see that?" She almost mocked.

"I haven't seen anything; I don't seem to be able to leave the hospital anymore!" Dean retorted as a feeling of dread washed over him.

"The decision has been made Dean. I'm sorry. Your body is too broken. You can walk the hospital for as long as you want but, well… I'm sorry. I can't force you to come with me. But I can tell you that, if you don't, your brother will die."

Dean was relieved when he grabbed for her and threw her against the wall. He hadn't been sure if his hands would just pass through her.

"What the fuck do you mean?" he spat. "If you hurt him I swear…!"

"I don't hurt people." Her voice was so sickly sweet, Dean just wanted to scream, "I just guide them."

Dean's mind reeled. "So what? He's gunna get careless on a hunt or something?"

"He's on my, to keep track of list." She answered "He has a bleeding ulcer."

Letting go, Dean began to laugh. "An ulcer? You're kidding, right? Ulcer's don't kill people." He shook his head in disbelief.

"They do if there not treated Dean. While you're here," she motioned towards his body, "he won't pay attention, and he won't get treatment. Eventually he will choke on his own blood."

Dean felt panic grip him. He remembered how skinny and haggard his brother had looked. "So…so what's to say if I go with you, it won't happen anyway?"

"Because while he thinks he can save you, nothing else matters. Not eating or sleeping, or paying attention to himself. When you're not around to save……" She shrugged. "I don't know for sure, I just know he is on my list right now.

"So it's not a forgone conclusion then?" Dean questioned with urgency in his tone.

"No Dean, it's not." She smiled, knowing he was closer to accepting his fate.

"He's in a lot of pain." She continued, pushing her advantage. "Mind, body and soul. But like I said, he has no hope of healing while he looks for ways to save you."

_Okay, okay. _Dean thought, _ I just have to warn him, get him to a Doctor. I just have to….._

"No Dean." Fuck. Was she reading his mind or what? "Sam will pay a price for that also. Contact at this point will not be permitted."

Dean stood looking at Sam, seeing clearly for the first time how damaged he looked.

Sam sat, resting his forehead on the bed, his hand still gripping his brother's. "Dude, if you're here…" he started to say. Tears were beginning to burn in his eyes. "I've tried. I'm still trying. I won't stop, but…I…I just need you to try okay? I need you to come back."

Dean started to pace again. "Fuck her! No contact my ass!"

Walking over to his brother he stood in his personal space. "Sammy? Come on Sammy. You gotta know I'm here." He put his hand gently to Sam's face.

Sam lifted his head from the bed, and looked around. "That's it Sammy. That's it."

"Dean?" Sam's eyes widened.

Dean bent down and blew as hard as he could in his brother's ear. "Yeah Jerk, I'm here" He smiled, affection in his voice.

"Dean?" Sam brought his hand to his ear, and stood up.

Dean's grin almost split his face. "Now." Dean said out loud. "How can I…?"

Clicking his fingers, he cursed himself. Why hadn't he thought of it before? "Ouija board Sammy! You have to get a Ouija board and bring it here."

"Dean?" Sam said again. "I am going to try something. I need your help, well…I'm not really sure you can, but…."

Sam moved away from the chair and stood still. "I'm going to reach out to you Dean. He said. "With my mind. I don't know if it will work, but I have to try."

Dean raised an eyebrow. _This is new_. He thought.

What Dean didn't know, was that Sam had tried this before. He had tried it often, with no success. He also didn't know that Sam trying to use his "abilities" in this way had caused all sorts of ramifications. Headaches, pain and nosebleeds.

Closing his eyes, Sam slowed his breathing. That familiar flash behind his eyes making him inhale sharply.

Slowly he reached and searched for his brother. "Dean?" A whisper this time, a look of concentration on his face.

"Sam?" Dean answered and Sam's eyes shot open.

"Dean, is that you?"

"Who else would it be little bro? You on first name basis with any other ghosts?"

He quipped.

"I can hear you!" Sam said looking in the direction the voice came from.

"Well it's about time man." Dean chuckled.

_No contact? Huh! You don't know my brother, bitch_. Dean thought smugly.

Sam smiled. "Yeah well, been real busy trying to save your ass. Sorry."

Dean chuckled again, but his face slowly changed to concern as he watched Sam scrunch his eyes in the effort it took to keep the connection.

"You okay dude?" Dean said, moving closer to his brother.

"Yeah," Sam said "but I can't do this for long. It kind of hurts."

"Hurts?" Dean frowned. That's when he noticed the small trickle of blood coming from his brother's nose.

"You're bleeding Sam." Dean reached out to his shoulder, but his hand passed right through it.

Sam dabbed at his nose with the back of his hand. "Side effect." He replied as if it were no consequence.

"Okay," Dean said, all business now. Real concern starting to bubble in his stomach.

"Why haven't you come back Dean?" Sam distracted him. "What's going on? Why haven't you woken up?"

Sighing Dean looked down. "God Sammy, I want to, but…My body is pretty fucked up. I…I'm not sure I'm going to be able to."

Sam clenched his fist, not sure if it was because of the onset of pain, or because he thought Dean was giving up.

"Don't you say that! Don't you dare say that! You're coming back okay! Dad's onto something. I don't know what it is. He won't tell me, but… Dean?" Sam's voice softened. "You gotta hang on okay? Please," he begged. "For me."

_Always for you Sam._ Dean wanted to say, but didn't.

Sam brought his hand to his brow, rubbing his forehead, trying to stave off the increasing pain.

Sam's hands were starting to shake, and Dean knew they didn't have much time.

_Fuck! Is this what she meant by Sam paying the price?_

"I'm not going anywhere Sam, I promise. But there are a few things you have to do before this gets any further." Dean said urgently.

"Further?" Sam got out, before he clutched at his stomach and bent over.

"Sam?" Panic in his voice. Dean was at his side, wishing desperately he could reach out to support him. "You've gotta listen Sam. You need to get yourself to a…"

Before Dean had a chance to complete the warning, Sam fell to his knees, clutching his head. The pain in his stomach was agony, but the searing pain through his head made the vision headaches look mild.

Dean dropped to his knees too. "Sammy listen to me!" He pleaded. "You have a stomach ulcer. It's bleeding and you have to see a Doctor straight away. Okay?"

Sam moaned loudly and Dean's stomach turned in on itself. "You hear me Sam! You're sick; you need to get some help. Sam?"

Sam's panted breaths started to slow as the pain subsided slightly. "Dean?" He looked up, sweat covering his brow.

"I'm here Sammy. I'm here. I'm right beside you bro." Dean answered. His voice thick with emotion. Christ. This was killing his brother.

"Dean?" Sam cried out again. "I've lost you Dean! I can't hear you!"

_Shit!_ Dean thought.

On shaky legs, Sam got himself up and moved to the chair beside Dean's body.

"Just give me a sec." He said, putting his face in his hands. "I'll try again. Just..."

He ran his hand through his sweat soaked bangs. "I'll be good to go in a minute."

"The hell you will!" Dean screamed. "No Sam no! Don't try again, it's killing you!"

But it was no use. Sam could not hear him.

John sat on a haystack in the dilapidated barn. His fingers rubbing the smooth edges of the Colt.

"Well?" The raspy voice asked. "Is it a deal?"

"Yes," John said "The colt, the bullet, and I get one more year. It's a deal"

"You must love your son very much." It said to him.

"Yeah…yeah I do." John answered, and handed him the Colt.

Dean could see that Sam was steadying himself. Breathing deeply and wiping at his nose, which hadn't really stopped bleeding.

"Christ Sammy!" Dean felt every emotion of years protecting Sam, come to the surface. "No no, don't do this!" He gritted out between clenched teeth.

The decision was made. He really had no choice. Sam could not die for him. It had to be, was always going to be, the other way around.

Moving to the door, Dean turned and looked at his baby brother one last time.

"I know I said there was nothing…nothing that could make me do this Sam. But I was wrong. I'm so sorry Sammy, I'm so sorry." Tears welled in his eyes. "Goodbye bro." He turned to walk through the door.

Racing down the corridor of the hospital, Dean screamed. "Okay bitch, where are you? Come and get me. I'm ready!"

"Here I am." The male voice behind him said.

Dean wasn't surprised when he turned to see the reaper he had met after his electrocution. "Not hiding behind a woman's skirt any more I see." Dean snarled.

"Let's go Dean." The reaper said his voice almost gentle. "Sam is gifted beyond what even we knew. If he reaches for you again, then…."

Then what? Dean wanted to ask, but he was wasting precious time, and he guessed he already knew.

"So what happens now?" Dean asked impatiently. "Do I go through a door? Follow _the _light? What?"

"Close your eyes Dean, close your eyes and jump."

Dean did as he was told and closed his eyes. He felt the floor shift from under him, and he just wanted to laugh when he found himself near a cliff face. The view, breathtakingly beautiful. _How could I have ever doubted you_ _Sammy?_

Sam sat with his arms wrapped around himself, rocking, trying to prepare himself for another attempt at reaching for Dean. "Okay, maybe a little more than a minute." He tried to sound light hearted, thinking Dean could hear him.

Before he started to concentrate, before he reached out to Dean, a familiar pain started to well up in Sam's head. _Shit! Not now, not now!_ Grabbing the bridge of his nose, the vision came.

Sam watched on. _Oh God! Not now. Why now?_

"_One more step and it would be all over. One more step and there would be no more pain. Dean laughed quietly. It's not worth it anymore." Dean's throat hitched. "You hear me!" Dean suddenly shouted out loud. _ _Looking up to the sky, with his hands outstretched, Dean continued. "You win! You win you son of a bitch! I can't do this anymore! I can do this without…I won't let Sam do this. I can't." Deans voice trailed off, sounding defeated "Its over." He said, lowering his head._

Sam, do this? Huh? Sam couldn't remember Dean saying that before.

_Dean turned, and Sam looked lovingly into his eyes. Softly, with tears in his voice, Dean said, "I love you Sammy! I always have!" The moment those words left his mouth, Dean turned, and stepped over the edge._

Sam screwed up his face as he slowly became aware he was back in the hospital. "Same vision" He explained to Dean. "Only you said….."

Looking up at the sound of the door, Sam couldn't believe it when his father came in.

"Dad!" Sam said and gave him a half smile.

His face changed to worry when his father was flanked by a doctor and an orderly.

John didn't say anything; he just took Sam by the elbow and guided him away from Dean's bed.

"What….what's going on Dad?" Sam's eyes widened when he saw the doctor move towards Dean's life support machines.

"What are you doing?" Sam started to move forward, but his father grabbed him around the waist from the front.

"Noooooooooooo!" He screamed when it became apparent that the Doctor was about to shut down Dean's ventilator.

Sam looked at his Dad pleadingly. When he didn't flinch, Sam started towards the doctor.

The orderly moved closer and Sam realized that was why he was here. To stop Sam physically, if need be.

Arms flailing. Hurtful desperate words came tumbling from his mouth. "I hate you! You fucking bastard! I'm going to kill you. You hear me! I'm going to fucking kill you!" John wasn't really sure if he was talking to him or the doctor.

Sam fought and fought, but he was too weak to be any kind of match.

Slowly the Doctor removed the tubing from Dean's throat.

Sam was completely broken. "Please Dad. Please don't do this." Sam would have gotten on his knees if he thought it would help.

John's jaw tightened as he felt his youngest son go limp in his arms.

"I will never forgive you for this," he whispered, staring at the heart monitor.

Beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Sam did fall to his knees when he heard the piercing screech of the flat line.

"No, God," and "how could you?" ripped from his throat.

Then, when all was quiet except for Sam's unabated sobs, a sound ripped through the air.

Dean's chest rose, as he sucked in a full and painful breath.

Sam's head snapped up. "Dean!"

John smiled though his own tears. _One more year._ He thought. _I have one more year and I'm going to make it count_.

**The End**

**AN:** Well folks, that's it. It has been over a year since I first put fingers to keyboard on this fic. Still not the best I've done, but I really hope you enjoyed it anyhow. Either way, please let me know. REVIEWS are my hearts desire!


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